Here he is, one month old! In some ways it went fast but in other ways it seems like it was a long time ago that he was born. Sleep deprivation makes it seem like a long time when you're in the middle of it, but when you look back it went fast! Does that make any sense?
So, anyway, he weighs ten pounds now. He sometimes does a four hour stretch which seems wonderful after 3 hour stretches or less at night. He's a pretty good baby, but has his fussy times, usually at night, but it doesn't take much to calm him down. It really interrupts our sleep, though. He seems to like his pacifier, which is a big help. My other two kids didn't take one, so this is something new.
So, the baby's doing good, but the mommy isn't always doing good. It's kind of hard to talk about it and I haven't told very many people about it. I have a hard time with postpartum depression and it's the pits. I didn't think I would blog about it, but I thought maybe someone else reading this might struggle with PPD, too. Sometimes it seems like other people have it all together, but you don't know how it really is. I know people probably think I'm doing just fine, because I don't tell anyone about it. I guess I feel ashamed about it sometimes, even thought it's not something I can help. I just wonder why I have to have such a hard time when other people do just fine. All I want is to be able to enjoy my baby and my other two children, but that is so hard sometimes. If I could have a full nights sleep I don't think I would have a problem. I usually feel better when they start sleeping longer. So, anyway, I have some good days now, so I think things are getting better. I need to learn how to trust the Lord better, I think. He will help me through, this, I know.
