Here he is, one month old! In some ways it went fast but in other ways it seems like it was a long time ago that he was born. Sleep deprivation makes it seem like a long time when you're in the middle of it, but when you look back it went fast! Does that make any sense?
So, anyway, he weighs ten pounds now. He sometimes does a four hour stretch which seems wonderful after 3 hour stretches or less at night. He's a pretty good baby, but has his fussy times, usually at night, but it doesn't take much to calm him down. It really interrupts our sleep, though. He seems to like his pacifier, which is a big help. My other two kids didn't take one, so this is something new.
So, the baby's doing good, but the mommy isn't always doing good. It's kind of hard to talk about it and I haven't told very many people about it. I have a hard time with postpartum depression and it's the pits. I didn't think I would blog about it, but I thought maybe someone else reading this might struggle with PPD, too. Sometimes it seems like other people have it all together, but you don't know how it really is. I know people probably think I'm doing just fine, because I don't tell anyone about it. I guess I feel ashamed about it sometimes, even thought it's not something I can help. I just wonder why I have to have such a hard time when other people do just fine. All I want is to be able to enjoy my baby and my other two children, but that is so hard sometimes. If I could have a full nights sleep I don't think I would have a problem. I usually feel better when they start sleeping longer. So, anyway, I have some good days now, so I think things are getting better. I need to learn how to trust the Lord better, I think. He will help me through, this, I know.
9 comments:
Mary, I'm glad you shared that. I'll pray for you that things would improve. I have exactly the same thing, but WHILE I'm pregnant. Once the baby arrives I'm on top of the world, but pregnancy is like a black hole. Hormonal depression makes all the little things into mountains and coping can be so difficult. Hope you feel better soon. Your little guy is such a cutie!
Hi, Tracy, I'll pray for you, too. Now, the poor little guy has a cold. That makes things harder, too. I'm trying not to worry about it, since he slept really good last night in spite of it. I was so worried about him getting a cold because Little Miss Priss did the same thing at a month old and didn't sleep much at all! All three kids have snotty noses today.
I think I have it during pregnancy too as I know I just can't deal with things very well but it usually gets better for me once baby is here. Don't bug your self about it I think that makes it worse for me. Just keep telling your self it will be better soon and some day soon you'll look back and realize it has pasted!! Pacifiers are great when they take one, it's helped a ton that both of mine do. They are much more discontented if they don't have it to suck on and it helps calm and comfort them at times when you can't. neither of mine have had a problem with being confused between me and it like they always talk about so they always get one right away after their first feeding at birth. Love and Prayers!
Hi Mary, this is Brooke Giesbrecht. We'll sure be praying for you with the new little one--I can't imagine adding a third. I remember how hard it is with the baby blues and crying and crying ALL the time. I have literally a black frame around all of my memories of Ezra's first month or two. And you're right, the sleep deprivation only makes it worse. I try to remember that the Lord promises to go through the fire with us--not meet us on the other side when it's over. He's in there with you holding with the everlasting arms--and now we can be praying! Praise the Lord for the sweet little guy :)
Dearest Mary...you are not alone. I didn't have PPD every time, but I did have a whopper when we lost our second little girl...I don't even remember a whole year after...just the wailing and weeping for no apparent reason. My Obstetrician's Prescription was to get pregnant again as soon as possible. That worked and I had a new problem with a son who arrived two months early, weighing in at 2 pounds, 10 ounces. I really didn't get to meet him and hold him until he was 7 weeks old. They kept him in an Isolette on oxygen behind two windowed doors. Even the nurses had to scrub and wear gloves before they tended to him through the portholes. I know it is very easy for someone to say "just get a hold of yourself" which, of course, you cannot do. There are good days coming. Don't apologize. It's just that your hormones are jumping around getting back into place. We will continue to pray that you will be able to get the rest you need. I've been there!
Mary- you are in my prayers and I pray that those sweet children of yours get over their colds soon! Your newest little addition to the family looks like such a little sweetheart... I can't wait to meet him Lord willing at conference!
I'm sorry to hear you are having a hard time. Depression, esp PPD, is not something to be ashamed of, tho we often do! I know well what depression is like and it is the pits, sometimes literally! I hope and pray you start to come out of it soon. My mom had it so severe that she locked herself in the bedroom for weeks and ate very little. Do get medical help if you need it, at least for the sake of your family!
Hello Mary, this is Penny. I truly understand. After our 3rd was born (and my oldest was 3 1/2), I went through the same thing, and for a long time. Your mil came and cleaned my house for a while since we lived in crumbs basically. For me, it wasn't just the crying, it was the hopelessness and exhaustion and reality of everyday life, and the feeling that these precious little ones looking to me were being short-changed every day because of their own mother. You will see someday how God is helping you right now far more than you even realize, and that He can bring us through the long dreary trials as well as the tough, obvious ones. Hang in there one moment at a time. God KNOWS what He is doing. "For when I am weak, then am I strong."
I am praying too!
I totally understand the sleep thing. Mine still dont sleep, I am lucky to get a two hour stretch any night and now have wicked bags under my eyes that people ask about.
It is not easy but I find getting out of the house a lot helps a bit.
I hope things turn around soon for you. Thanks for sharing, you are amazing!
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